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Sunday, March 05, 2017

The adventure begins.

Well ... it is a long time since l posted on here, there are SO many reasons. The main one is the sudden requirement to go and care for both my elderly parents. For a long time l have been worried about the health, physical and mental of my dad. My mum is 87 and virtually an invalid and my dad is 86 and is officially her carer! Anyway a few weeks ago it suddenly got serious and with the local doctors help, we eventually got him admitted to hospital. To cut a long story short, he has Pancreatic Cancer which has now spread to the Liver, for which he is too fail to sustain any treatment. Dad is also VERY confused and has also developed Pneumonia ! So the end is near l fear. The biggest problem is he is not making ANY sounds at all, so communication for everyone is difficult. l understand a lot of his body language but as he has a different nurse looking after him for each shift, when are they going to get to know him?
Anyway, in the mean time, l have managed to get my mum into a RAF Benevolent Home for 9 days rest bite care. The staff all know her in there, so she is well look after and feels safe. My dad has done everything for her and l mean everything. So the thought of her being on her after 65 years is terrifying for her, as you can image. It would be bad enough for an able bodied person !
The reason for this piece today, is the way it has made me feel. I have always been a daddies girl but as l grew up and lived most of my life away from them .... l have been surprised by my feelings. I feel sad , of course but l also feel angry that his life is ending like this. Dad was always such a strong, energetic and proud man. I suddenly want to protect this frail man that is not eating, not drinking and not speaking. I have managed to just spend time sitting by his bed and just being there for him. When he appears to be in pain, tell the nurse and he will get another injection. I just feel if l am not there ... nothing seems to happen. The nursing staff are great but very busy. I am also getting different versions of what and when he gets pain relief ...all very confusing and upsetting.
So l have made a promise to myself that from today, l am going to do a drawing everyday. I know there are loads of people doing this sort of thing out there but does that really matter if l have decide to do it too? I don't think so. I want to somehow celebrate my dad's life by drawing, as he was also an artist. One of things Dad told me in later life, was "You can do anything but l never knew this about you before now". Interesting statement . It has taken me sometime to figure it out. Dad was a strict but loving dad but he could also be quite controlling. Over the last few weeks l have managed to do things, for example ...  get help and support from social services, that my parents have been trying to do for the last 2 years at least.  I suppose l have always being trying to get my parents support and to make them proud of me. I think that by saying that sentence to me,  that is what my father has just given me!
So the journey begins. I have found a pad of paper, here at my parents house and am turning into a sketch book. The first drawing will be at the Worthing Hospital tonight. So till then ..... Keep drawing. :)

BACK NOW.... here is the drawing of my Dad, that l drew today. Not a happy one! :(



The drawing below, is one l found among some of my father's " filing" system! I did it 50 years ago ... does it remind you are any one?


Monday, February 13, 2017

This is my three year old grandson, who seems to have taken over my sketchbooks. He saw me colouring and asked if if he could help me. Well what could l say?? First of all, in my black and white sketchbook and then in my small handbag sketchbook!!!! 



I had down these flowers but he coloured the one on the left in. Not bad for a 3 year old, in my view.


In this image, he had drawn round his own hand ... this is amazing for a three year old l think.

This was me having fun and doodling!




Then he wanted to paint with me, in my Art Studio. We had great fun together.


It was really lovely to watch him paint. He decided to paint my husband and got busy on it. He only painted Tony's head and when l asked why, he replied ; " Because there was no more room on the paper for his body and legs!"  Logical! So l give him another piece of paper but this time portrait instead of landscape. He started again. Then we talked about the right colour for my husband's trousers .... so then he experimented with mixing colours. My husband's trousers were actually deep red but my grandson painted them brown and told me : "They are not the right shade Nanna but it is nearly the same colour" ... cute.

I have spent a lot of my time recently drawing. Why ... because l didn't really have much space to paint or so l thought.




Then l realised that if l re-arranged my studio ... l could put one of my easels up and paint again. Simple. I just needed to be still for a minute and accept letting go of "stuff". Once l accepted that fact ... life became a lot simpler. Never thought l would ever be able to let go of my "stuff"  but if l can ...  ANYONE can!

Just a reminder of my last two painting ... learning to paint and approach my painting ... differently.



This my next painting in progress ... Watch this space. I am also learning to paint over and rub back parts of my painting. l finding it very liberty rather than scary, like l used to feel.


The next few images are giving me some wonder ideas for work. There is something so simple but beautiful about this illustration, l think.


A gorgeous white fungus. Stunning.


Can you guess what this is?  It is the kernel of a Mango stone. Beautiful in my view.


Isn't this orange colour beautiful?


Till next .... enjoy your life and keep on painting. xx



Thursday, February 09, 2017

One of my students work and some of the "stuff" that inspires me .

On Thursday after school, l have a new student. She is very sweet and used to be one of my students, from artyfizz. She is working towards making a book from start to finish.  Her subjects will be futurist "strange and mystical" creatures! But before he start smaking the book, she is going to be trying out new techniques and implements. 
Today we talked about using sharp pencils, wax crayons and oil pastels. What happens for example, when you use a wax or oil pastel and then cover it with water colour paint ? 


Then l got her to copy the small creature, she had drawn earlier but to cover the  bigger piece of paper.


Children l have worked with, often find it hard to fill the whole page. I think she managed very well.


Paint and oil pastels.


Adding water colour.


Finished piece. A practice piece before she starts her book for real.


Now for some images, l have taken to help inspire me. This is an image of leaves, hanging from my bedroom window. They have been caught in a spider's web but looked as if they are just hanging there ...  in mid air!


It has been very frosty over the last few weeks. Very cold but beautiful at the same time.


Frozen puddles!


Fallen log ... beautiful colours.


Greeted by this beautiful sight this morning.


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Wednesday, February 08, 2017

A tidy studio ... don"t faint children ... and my new Art work!

Well ... it is quite a while since l wrote on here .... sorry. I have decided to try and use this blog to record my Art work. I have started recently, to think about the way l paint. I have spent time reading about how other artists start their paintings. Looking at loads of paintings, prints and drawings. I LOVE colour and that is another angle l am looking at.
Lets just take a few steps back ... my studio! Since l had to close my Children's Art Studio ( artyfizz), l  cleared it of 30 years worth of art equipment, some went home and rest to The Work and Play Resource Centre. After a lot of soul searching, tears and anger, my studio is now at home and a lot smaller and a hell of a lot tidier! Ha!




So now l have a smaller studio but oh so much tidier. I never thought l would say this ... " Less is more"! My husband still hasn't got over the shock of hearing me say that! :) Here is my first finish new painting, titled " My artist's brain"! 


This is my next finished piece titled " Transition".


And this is a piece in progress.


I have also been moving my lounge a round a bit too. I have had to get rid of loads and loads of my books and have managed to get them down to these two cabinets worth. Phew. very sad but had to be done. So now l have a very nice reading/meditation corner. Do love my lights. :)


Just had my hair cut ... very pleased with it. I don't normally like pictures of me but l rather like this "Selfie"! Not bad for 64! :)