Sunday, June 11, 2017

Dad,my grandchildren, Art, being a carer and stones!

Being an artist can be quite difficult in oh so many ways. When l have an idea ... that is all l can think about and who needs to eat anyway? BUT if you are married to someone who is not an artist and on top of that is very tidy ... not good. It does not help that l am not a tidy artist! 😏 I am very lucky that my other half is so forgiving and has been for the last 44 years !😎 He comes to most art shows, galleries and museums with me. When l did my Art Degree, at the age of 50, he helped me with all my work and my research ... bless him. But we do have one problem ... he cannot understand how l can be so "absorbed" in my art project over the rest of my life! Most artists will know exactly what l mean. Now he is retired, it is even harder to deal with. I am not moaning about my other half ... just trying to work out how best to deal with the " problem". Oh the joys of life .
This image is one of the reasons l smile most days. He is my first "birth" grandson , who lives in Australia.

Another of my joys is this young man. He is my three year old "adopted" grandson and he is so cute. Long story but he also helps to keep me sane!

Nature plays a huge part in my artistic life. The colour of flowers, trees and so much more. I carry my camera with me every where. When we go on walks, my husband often walks off ahead of me because he is fed up of waiting for me. Ha! We decided that on some walks ... l will not take images!😏 I then go out on my own, with the intention of collecting images for my work and to add to my photograph research files.

Feathers have always been quite an important part of my life. The thought of these feathers showing me, my Guardian Angels are looking after me and keeping me safe and sane. While l was looking after my parents, the death of my father and then the aftermast has been VERY hard. The relationship l have with my mother is NOT good, which has made coping with her difficult for me and inevitably my husband. So seeing a white feather and some days many white feathers, became so important to me. 

The white feathers have caused me many hours of thinking, drawing and thinking more about my next project.  I have lots of ideas, lots of drawings and now l think l know what l want to make. BUT l am still not yet ready to say what that will be.
I have been cleaning out a lot of drawers, cupboards, a loft and so much more, since my dad died. Loads of photo's, letters and some of my old art work. I found this pirate l created on a Scrapper Board, aged about 10 ...  54 years ago!!!  Does it remind you of anyone?

 To have a break from the atmosphere in my mum's house and all the arguments we were having ... l went for walks on Rustington's stoney beach. I came across loads of heart shaped stones .

And also loads of stones with holes all the way through them. Just think how long it took to for the water to work all the way through ... amazing!

I also found" this " on the beach and l have no idea what it is or was! 

I found the beach to be a wonderful place to turn off my mind and just "be". Just what l needed to help me during this time of being and learning how to be a Carer!

Thursday, June 01, 2017

My dad, daily images, drawings and white feathers!

Evening everyone. For the 5 days Dad was in hospital, l walked past this funny site. They are metal penguins dressed in wonderful knitted items ... more things added everyday. It was knitted and created by a company called Storm. Cheered me up for a few minutes each day.

While l sat by Dad, who was speaking or communicating in any way, l did some drawing. These are some of the drawings and stencils l created. very calming.

This was my father when he received the Sword of Honour, going from Airman to Officer in the RAF. I was so proud of him, especially as he was not that young! :)

Another thing that kept me going when my dad was ill and then looking after my mother ... was this beautiful piece of Nature. I discovered the lady that lived in the house next to this tree ... died. Her husband started planting these bulbs, in her memory. What a lovely story.. 


Just think this scooter is so funny. But l have discover the owners of this vehicle are actually being illegal. They should only be used on private land unless licensed or so l am told!

This little white feather has been the start of my next project. I found it on one of my daily walks round Rustington. I took it home and showed my mum and from what she said, started off my new project!!!! Many, many years ago l was told that finding white feathers, meant you have a Guardian Angel watching over you. What had annoyed my mother was this .... l was finding 4 or 5 feathers, at least, a day and she never sees any! She called me a Goody two Shoes and l was just too good to be true! So l started thinking about how l could use these feathers l was collecting, small and large ones, to create a piece of Art. I suppose just wanted to prove something but l am not sure what!

I thought of creating a painting or a collage but nothing seemed right. Collecting feathers every day seemed to be a calming influence on me. One day as l walked out of the front door, having had a huge argument with my mum, a white feather floated down in front of me. I couldn't believe it! :)
Even when the weather is not good, walking on this stoney beach is always interesting. I had always thought the only beach that was interesting one, was a sand one. BUT oh no! I have discovered the joy of stone beaches.

So what have l decided to do with with my white feathers? Find out tomorrow.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

How becoming a Carer can changed your life ... over night!

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a Carer? I hadn't really given it much thought, except when it was Carer's week. One Friday a few months ago, my husband and l went down to see my parents on the South Coast. My mum, who is 88 is an invalid and my dad, who is 87, is her carer! he would never let any of us help him! Suddenly my dad seemed very frail and ill. To cut a long story short .... after seeing the doctor several times, l managed to get him to hospital and there, unfortunately five days later, he died, without opening his eyes or saying another word. Quite distressing for all involve. But l did decided to go and sit with my dad, just after he died. When l was young, my dad and l used to sneak away and eat a bar of plain chocolate, so this is what l did while l sat with him. I put a piece of plain chocolate on his pillow and sat and talk and eat with him, for roughly 45 mins. I never thought l would be able to sit with a dead person but I didn't find it any problem at all.  I could have sat with him a lot longer but was very aware of the need for Dad's bed! I hope the picture of my dad doesn't upset you too much.  


I did some drawings of my dad on the days before he died. My sister thought my drawings were macabre and was quite up set by them. I found that drawing my dad calmed me down. Not quite sure how the subject came up but my mum thought the drawings and the  photo were fantastic. Must admit did not expect her to be quite so interested and excited by them. Here is one of them.


After my dad died, l opened a window to let his soul out. As l did so, these two, large seagulls came and looked in the window, they then proceeded to peck on the window  then flew off. My dad was in the RAF and it seemed like they were saying ... " Right Spike ( my dad's nickname), lets fly". I must admit it did make me smile! 🤗🤗


My mum seemed a virtual invalid, my dad was her official carer!  He did everything for her and l mean everything. So the thought of her being on her own, after 65 years of marriage is terrifying for her. It would be bad enough for an able bodied person ! 
I don't love or like my mum but l couldn't see her suffering. So my husband and l stayed here and did all we could do to help. We are still here almost 3 months later! I seem to be the only one of my family that seems to want to help or is willing too. Families! 
I got Social Services involved and believe me that was hard. My mum has now been in hospital for the last 3 weeks and so l now have the hospital Social Services involved. Life is just not easy. The Hospital cannot let my mum out, unless she can look after herself! She seemed ok and now her Gout is playing up again and she cannot walk. So back to square one again. 
I was and still am finding it hard to cope and so l am seeking help from a Counsellor. But what happens when other Carers don't have an amazing husband like l have ... or ... amazing children. My own family back me and give me so much love. There are so many elderly people now, how are we going to cope?
When l first came down here to try and sort my parents out ... it was hard. I was not sure how to cope with my hate for my mother and fighting for all her requirements. I needed to find a way to manage. I made a comment to my mum about white feathers and Guardian Angels. She looked at me and said "Oh Goody Two Shoes. l suppose you are always finding white feathers"! I said"Yes" and she told me she never found them. I began to find them every day and it become a sort of standing joke with my husband. What could l do with them ... um?  I started to think of Art projects and l am still thinking. So each day l started to collect the feathers l found, stones with holes in them and lastly heart shaped stones, l found on the beach. I also have been taking images each day of things that started to catch my attention, on my daily walks.  I have not been able to put my images up each day because l just have not been in my correct mind. Now l am feeling better and more in control. So l have decided to put these images up anyway, even though they will be out of date and some times sequence. My first image is a white feather found of my first daily walks.

Next, one of the many "Beach" themed gardens on my daily walk!

And lastly I found this on the beach. Part of a bird, l think but what kind ... l have no idea. Interesting though.

I have many more images from day one but the internet here is crap, to say the least. So theseare all you get for today! Sorry. Also l can't get the paragraphs right but am too tired to correct it this evening. 

Monday, February 13, 2017

This is my three year old grandson, who seems to have taken over my sketchbooks. He saw me colouring and asked if if he could help me. Well what could l say?? First of all, in my black and white sketchbook and then in my small handbag sketchbook!!!! 

I had down these flowers but he coloured the one on the left in. Not bad for a 3 year old, in my view.

In this image, he had drawn round his own hand ... this is amazing for a three year old l think.

This was me having fun and doodling!

Then he wanted to paint with me, in my Art Studio. We had great fun together.

It was really lovely to watch him paint. He decided to paint my husband and got busy on it. He only painted Tony's head and when l asked why, he replied ; " Because there was no more room on the paper for his body and legs!"  Logical! So l give him another piece of paper but this time portrait instead of landscape. He started again. Then we talked about the right colour for my husband's trousers .... so then he experimented with mixing colours. My husband's trousers were actually deep red but my grandson painted them brown and told me : "They are not the right shade Nanna but it is nearly the same colour" ... cute.

I have spent a lot of my time recently drawing. Why ... because l didn't really have much space to paint or so l thought.

Then l realised that if l re-arranged my studio ... l could put one of my easels up and paint again. Simple. I just needed to be still for a minute and accept letting go of "stuff". Once l accepted that fact ... life became a lot simpler. Never thought l would ever be able to let go of my "stuff"  but if l can ...  ANYONE can!

Just a reminder of my last two painting ... learning to paint and approach my painting ... differently.

This my next painting in progress ... Watch this space. I am also learning to paint over and rub back parts of my painting. l finding it very liberty rather than scary, like l used to feel.

The next few images are giving me some wonder ideas for work. There is something so simple but beautiful about this illustration, l think.

A gorgeous white fungus. Stunning.

Can you guess what this is?  It is the kernel of a Mango stone. Beautiful in my view.

Isn't this orange colour beautiful?

Till next .... enjoy your life and keep on painting. xx